yggdrasil.alt

Looking for some game ideas for my girlfriend

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 18:34:42 GMT

I'm seeking some suggestions for trying to find some games that my girlfriend would enjoy. Thus far, the only games that have really grabbed her attention were Zuma Deluxe, and The Magician's Handbook: Cursed Valley (which we only found as a one-hour trial from Comcast, and it's just not worth the $20 they want for the full version).

We tried The Sims 2, and that didn't interest her more than a few hours, then sat untouched for 2 months.

She's said she likes puzzle games, and she wants things that challenge her, and really "captivate" her - something that either 1) has a good bit of interaction to keep her interested or 2) something that requires her to really focus and pay attention to (like Zuma).

Anyone have any specific suggestions?

Memeness.

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:49:33 GMT

I'm really not big on the whole internet/LJ meme thing. I've just by and large passed on participating in the vast majority of them, though sometimes reading them on others' journals is sort of interesting.

However, after seeing a particularly interesting and fun one from gamerchick, dealing with a listing of your favorite movies with some IMDB plot keywords and having people try to guess the movie, I'll give it a go myself. (Harder part is going to be picking the movies).

1) Steampunk / Time Travel / God
2) Anti hero / Bottle / Sorceror
3) ~~Quicksand / Giant / Battle of Wits~~ - The Princess Bride guessed by gamerchick
4) Cat / Computer / Sunglasses
5) Explosions / Funny Accent / Christmas Tree
6) Decapitation / Friendship / Katana
7) Trailer Park / Android / Video Game
8) Falsely Accused / Pet Bird / Revenge
9) Time Travel / Surreal / Police Chase
10) ~~Post Modern / Zombie / Cricket Bat~~ - Shaun of the Dead, guessed by gamerchick

Birthdays, and stuff

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 05:39:37 GMT

So, Thursday the 21st is my Birthday . . . and I don't know what to do or try to do for/about it. I'll be turning 32. I can't really say I'm very happy with my life and where I'm at right now. It could definitely be worse, but could also easily be better (and I've only myself to blame for much).

Daimones is working "allll" that day he says. There's precious few people I know here in Fort Wayne anymore. Anyone have any ideas for some sort of celebratory thing?

Is it pathetic that the first thing that comes to mind as to what I want for a birthday present is a Wraith Blade, in WoW for my Warlock?

Robert DeNiro and General Stuff

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 10:12:48 GMT

So, someone from Warfare (my WoW endgame raiding guild on Blackhand) posted a link to Pandora and I've been playing with it entirely too much recently. In one of the explorations of other music for me (working on stuff similar to Shakespeare's Sister, or so it thinks) one of the song lyrics (about half the song, really, repeated about 800 times) goes like this:

"Robert DeNiro's waiting . . . talking Italian."

Weird.

So, I -might- have someplace to live for a bit. Possible rescue came from an unexpected source. Nothing definite yet, and even if it pans out, there's a lot of other stuff to deal with. I've got to either get a lot of junk put in storage for a bit, or get it shipped back to Texas or something (only to, with any luck and as my hopes are, get it sent back within a couple of months).

Also, I'm worried about Baby (the cat that seems to have adopted me). I haven't raised the subject of Baby to my possible rescuer, and if the answer is no, I'm worried about her. If I have to leave her with Steve (and I guess go to his other house) for a couple of months, will she even know me/want to live with me after that time?

I bring it upon myself, but that doesn't make finding a solution any easier.

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 06:56:03 GMT

So . . . Having trouble getting to sleep again. So stressed and worried. Trying to figure out how to not be homeless soon. The same issue that my mind has been wrapped around, only semi-diverted evenings when I sit down and concentrate and try to focus on Naxxramas in WoW.

I'm out of ideas now. I'm almost out of options. There are three I haven't tried yet. Really worried. I think the only thing that has kept me from entirely flipping the fuck out or plunging into a nearly suicidally deep depressive state is the Wellbutrin XL I've been taking every day for about the last week (thanks to Maria).

WoW Factions - for Shrub

Sat, 22 Jul 2006 09:35:24 GMT

First off . . . yes, there IS Evil in Warcraft, and in World of Warcraft. It is not, however, this arbitrary split of the player character races, such as there are in the Everquest games. The two factions (really almost 3) are just factions, just different sides of the same die.

Let's examine the races:

Orcs
Directly from Blizzard's own web site, a nutshell history of the Orcs:
"Born on the hellish world of Draenor, the Orcs were brought into the kingdom of Stormwind through the dimensional gateway known as the Dark Portal and forced to wage war on the Humans. Although few are aware of their history, the Orcs once cultivated a noble, Shamanistic society on the world of Draenor. Tragically, the proud Orc clans were corrupted by the Burning Legion and used as pawns in the Legion's invasion of Azeroth. The Orcs managed to rebel, however, and they were ultimately able to help turn the tide against their demon masters. Led by the young Warchief, Thrall, the Orcs have reclaimed their strength and honor. Now, the Orcs stand ready to fight not for the sake of conquest, but for their right to survive in their adopted world.

Think about that for a minute. The orcs were shoved through a portal into Azeroth, against their will, and forced to ignore their noble Shamanistic ways to wage war against the Humans. They were under demonic influence, being forced to fight. Some of them, notably Thrall, Grom Hellscream, and a few others, fought off the demonic bloodlust, rebelled against the demons, and they played a crucial role in helping the Alliance to fight off the Burning Legion's attempt to take Mount Hyjal, and corrupt the World Tree, Nordassil. They forged an treaty with the "Alliance" and then took to the barren, harsh, unwanted portions of Kalimdor to try to rebuild a new society, reclaiming their noble Shamanistic heritage.

Yeah, real evil there.

Trolls
Wild Jungle Trolls are mean and nasty critters, barbarous and ready to worship any sort of animal god that impresses them and seems handy. Snakes, Spiders, whatever, they're down with that, and let's cut up anyone else and eat them.

Except for the Darkspear tribe, which Thrall saved from their conflict with the Murlocs, and befriended. These trolls have shown fierce loyalty, and are prospering in their friendship with the Orcs and Taurens. Basically, the orcs, under Thrall, made friends with a primitive and brutal race, and are helping them advance culturally. Yet another noble deed of the Orcs, whereas the humans would probably just merrily slay the trolls, rather than trying to help them.

Tauren
Next, the Taurens. Also taken directly from Blizzard, the Taurens "live to serve nature and maintain the balance between the wild things of the land and the restless spirit of the elements. Despite their enormous size and brute strength, the remarkably peaceful Tauren cultivate a quiet, tribal society. However, when roused by conflict, Tauren are implacable enemies who will use every ounce of their strength to smash their enemies under hoof. Under the leadership of their ancient chief, Cairne Bloodhoof, the Tauren allied themselves with the Orcs during the invasion of the Burning Legion. The two races have remained steadfast allies ever since. Like the Orcs, the Tauren struggle to retain their sense of tradition and noble identity."

Those of you who played through Warcraft III might remember, the Taurens were being assaulted by the Centaurs, and the orcs came to their aid and befriended them. Here, another peaceful, tribal society, dedicated to serving nature . . . called "evil" by people who've bought into the Alliance Propaganda.

Undead
Ahh yes, the Undead, the Forsaken. They're surely evil, through and through, right? Well, let's look at that . . . They were risen from the dead, interrupting their peaceful slumber, and enslaved to the will of the Lich King (and later some of them to Arthas - note that name, I'll come to him in a bit). After some of them finally threw off the shackles of control exerted upon them by Arthas and the Lich King, they fight to retain their own free will (rather than being used like things as so many have in the past) and simply to destroy their enemies - chief among them, the Lich King. Their closest roots are to Humans - who call them monsters and abominations, and try to kill them on sight, rather than welcoming their undead brethren back into the fold and trying to get along peacefully. They have to combat the Scourge, undead still under the sway of the Lich King's Will, for the betterment of the entire world, and are assaulted on all sides and plagued by hatred from their own descendents and family.

Some of the notable figures in undead history - Kel'Thuzad . . . a HUMAN Necromancer, who enslaved undead and rose them from their final sleep, swore allegiance first to the Lich King, then to Arthas in his quest for power (whatever's convenient, right?), and even staged his own death so he could arise as an Arch-Lich, to wield even more power.

Arthas - a HUMAN . . . not just a human, but a Prince, the King's son, and a Paladin, who betrayed humanity, slaughtered his father, slaughtered a respected and mighty Dwarf who had called him friend in his quest for power, enslaved even more Undead to his will, betray humanity and spread Undeath. Human, Check. Major Betrayal, Check. We see a pattern here? Yet, everyone blamed the Forsaken for all of this. Yeah, all their fault. They WANTED to be used and enslaved to others' wills. Now, since everyone pretty much seems to hate them, they just want to be left alone, to pursue their war against the Lich King and his evident evil.

Now, on to the Alliance races . . .

Humans
Basically, they've got the attitude of "We're still here, we've been through two invasions, and we've made alliances of convenience to survive, so we deserve everything we want just for surviving." Look back at the storylines and missions in Warcraft III. They met the Night Elves, pissed off the Night Elves, then when they HAD to, made friends with the Night Elves (not that pissing off the Night Elves is all that hard, to be truthful). They claim to be the bastions of good and light, but have a laundry list of betrayals from the human race. Not being enslaved by demons or powerful magics . . . they turned against their own kind because they wanted to, or because it was convenient, or merely a step along the road in a blinding lust for power.

Dwarves
Dwarves have pretty much kept to themselves, except for their alliance with Humans. Why do they ally with the Humans? Because they like to fight, plain and simple. Dwarves like to drink and fight, and the Humans are always stirring things up. They've changed recently, as they've learned that they may have been created by the Titans, and are delving into their past to try to learn more. Obsessed now with archaeology and anthropology, they basically just want to find out who they are and what they came from. They're like rednecks who've become obsessed with geneology.

Gnomes
Blizzard says it themselves: "it's a wonder that any Gnomes have survived to proliferate." Left to themselves, the Gnomes would have done the world a favor and killed themselves off by now. The gnomes would have you believe that "an ancient, barbaric menace had risen from the bowels of the earth and invaded Gnomeregan," but anyone with a lick of intelligence knows better. Whatever invaded Gnomeregan, the Gnomes stirred up in their incessant messing with things they don't have common sense enough to leave alone. Their own city lost to them, polluted and irradiated, they've had to shelter with the Dwarves, who aid the Gnomes in continuing their existence.

Night Elves
Oh, the Night Elves. Pretty defenders of Nature and goodness, right? Nahh. They're worse than the Gnomes. "The Night Elves' reckless use of magic drew the Burning Legion into the world and led to a catastrophic war between the two titanic races. " Here's the real root of it all. Burning Legion? Night Elves' fault. Orcs torn from Draenor, shoved through a portal and made to fight against their will by the Burning Legion? Oh, woops, wouldn't have happened if the Night Elves hadn't stirred them up. Even now that they've come back out into the world (Oh, crap, better wake up, the demons are back!) and been forced to ally themselves with other races, they still have an innate arrogance, and are "are very distrusting of the 'lesser races' of the world."

So what do we have there? The "Evil" Horde has two formerly peaceful tribal and shamanistic cultures who've shown honor and nobility, who are helping advance the Trolls into a better culture. The Orcs overthrew demonic bloodlust and control, rebelling against their former masters to drive them off and save a world that they didn't even come from. Despite not really trusting the Forsaken, they've allied with them because they clearly see a real threat of evil from the Lich King. They've found their treaties with the humans, big surprise here, being broken and they're being warred on again. Of course, dare they defend themselves, oh, they're EEEEEEvil.

Then on the other side, we've got the Humans, the masters of betrayal, who are arrogant and colonial, trying to eradicate the Horde in the name of "good" - never mind that they'd made peace with them to fight a common enemy when they had toi, but now that inconvenient peace thing is thrown right out the window. Gnomes who would probably be doing the world a big favor if they'd invent a time machine, go back in time, and kill themselves off before they pissed off whatever it is from deep in the earth with their radiation and pollution. Night Elves, who started the entire mess with mucking around with high magics, drawing the Burning Legion into the world, and almost certainly developing the magics that the Lich King eventually harnessed to enslave the Undead. The Dwarves . . . well, they're all right, really.

Actually, I begin to see why so many people want to play Alliance now. They WANT to be the bad guys.

Amusing.

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 08:31:09 GMT

So, first off, some people will probably faint because I actually updated.

I've actually been meaning to update a few times recently, and just keep procrastinating on it. Several perhaps interesting or insightful things the last few days have been lost to my procrastination.

Anyway, after yet another night in Naxxramas in WoW was sabotaged and the raid ended up being called off due to incredible, unplayable lag, I started two-boxing, running around on my main machine doing all sorts of sundry things, and working on semi-absent-mindedly XPing my druid on the second machine. Played around in Hillsbrad for a bit, eventually got bored there (after hitting level 27 and getting maybe a third of the way into it), and decided to try something different, and went to the Wetlands.

My -second kill- there yielded a Tiny Crimson Whelpling. I know that'll amuse (and perhaps perturb) a couple of people who'll read this.

People in the guild were remarking on how much they hated me, how unfair it was, etc. Of course, there were offers to buy it, too. Not really sure what to do with it. Such a nifty, rare pet. Sell it, for quite a bit (though I wasn't sure just how much at first), or have a really nifty rare pet (and if I kept it, for which character?)?

Well, looks like I get both. 4 kills before I dinged level 28 . . . another Tiny Crimson Whelpling. For which my Auctioneer with several months worth of Horde-side data on Blackhand says should go for about 195-200 gold.

Nifty.

Meh.

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 06:25:20 GMT

The Hermit
You scored 47 change, 48 wellbeing, 58 wisdom, and 55 truth

He has mastered all elements of the past key numbers and stands on top of the mountain of attainment. The snowy peaks is symbolic of his isolation because his wisdom sets him apart from the rest. In this position, he holds his lantern to light the way for the rest to follow his path to enlightenment, for knowledge is meaningless unless we turn and show others what we have learned. The lantern light is 2 triangles, one face up and the other face down. As is above, so below. A triangle only holds 180 degrees, but the combination of 2 triangles equals 360 degrees. A circle has 360 degrees and is the symbol of the creator, endless. 360 degrees and 180 degrees both vibrate at a number 9, the vibration of this cards.

some extra words:

being introspective

thinking things over

focusing inward

concentrating less on the senses

quieting yourself

looking for answers within

needing to understand

searching

seeking greater understanding

looking for something

wanting the truth at all costs

going on a personal quest

needing more

desiring a new direction

receiving/giving guidance

going to/being a mentor

accepting/offering wise counsel

learning from/being a guru

turning to/being a trusted teacher

being helped/helping

seeking solitude

needing to be alone

desiring stillness

withdrawing from the world

experiencing seclusion

giving up distractions

retreating into a private world

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 25% on change
You scored higher than 22% on wellbeing
You scored higher than 15% on wisdom
You scored higher than 30% on truth

Link: The What tarot card resembles you Test written by KamikazeParrot on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Ok, that's fairly amusing.

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 08:58:05 GMT

If George Lucas Cast Star Wars from Your Friend List, He'd Pick... by athersgeo
Username
Luke Skywalker	alythe
Han Solo	igz00
Princess Leia	vasago00
C-3PO	frums
R2D2	buggrit
Wedge Antilles	duchesswolfe
Obi-Wan Kenobi	tsubasa
Darth Vader	ayradyss
Grand Moff Tarkin	ellisande
The Emperor	dayzdark

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Dear Joe,

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 05:16:27 GMT

"Thank you for taking the time to present yor qualifications and interest in employment with [Corporation]. We enjoyed speaking with you and although we were impressed with your background and experience, we have decided to pursue other candidates whose qualifications more closely match our requirements.

Thank you again for your time and interest, and best wishes to you in your future endeavors."

*sigh* Not too terribly surprised, but I was really hopeful on this one. It still hurts.

Beyond the Propaganda: Why the Horde is not "evil"

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 22:24:28 GMT

(Reposting this from a forum post of mine last year so I can link it to an LJ comment reply)

First off . . . yes, there IS Evil in Warcraft, and in World of Warcraft. It is not, however, this arbitrary split of the player character races, such as there are in the Everquest games. The two factions (really almost 3) are just factions, just different sides of the same die.

Let's examine the races: (Behind the cut)

Orcs
Directly from Blizzard's own web site, a nutshell history of the Orcs:
"Born on the hellish world of Draenor, the Orcs were brought into the kingdom of Stormwind through the dimensional gateway known as the Dark Portal and forced to wage war on the Humans. Although few are aware of their history, the Orcs once cultivated a noble, Shamanistic society on the world of Draenor. Tragically, the proud Orc clans were corrupted by the Burning Legion and used as pawns in the Legion's invasion of Azeroth. The Orcs managed to rebel, however, and they were ultimately able to help turn the tide against their demon masters. Led by the young Warchief, Thrall, the Orcs have reclaimed their strength and honor. Now, the Orcs stand ready to fight not for the sake of conquest, but for their right to survive in their adopted world.

Think about that for a minute. The orcs were shoved through a portal into Azeroth, against their will, and forced to ignore their noble Shamanistic ways to wage war against the Humans. They were under demonic influence, being forced to fight. Some of them, notably Thrall, Grom Hellscream, and a few others, fought off the demonic bloodlust, rebelled against the demons, and they played a crucial role in helping the Alliance to fight off the Burning Legion's attempt to take Mount Hyjal, and corrupt the World Tree, Nordassil. They forged an treaty with the "Alliance" and then took to the barren, harsh, unwanted portions of Kalimdor to try to rebuild a new society, reclaiming their noble Shamanistic heritage.

Yeah, real evil there.

Trolls
Wild Jungle Trolls are mean and nasty critters, barbarous and ready to worship any sort of animal god that impresses them and seems handy. Snakes, Spiders, whatever, they're down with that, and let's cut up anyone else and eat them.

Except for the Darkspear tribe, which Thrall saved from their conflict with the Murlocs, and befriended. These trolls have shown fierce loyalty, and are prospering in their friendship with the Orcs and Taurens. Basically, the orcs, under Thrall, made friends with a primitive and brutal race, and are helping them advance culturally. Yet another noble deed of the Orcs, whereas the humans would probably just merrily slay the trolls, rather than trying to help them.

Tauren
Next, the Taurens. Also taken directly from Blizzard, the Taurens "live to serve nature and maintain the balance between the wild things of the land and the restless spirit of the elements. Despite their enormous size and brute strength, the remarkably peaceful Tauren cultivate a quiet, tribal society. However, when roused by conflict, Tauren are implacable enemies who will use every ounce of their strength to smash their enemies under hoof. Under the leadership of their ancient chief, Cairne Bloodhoof, the Tauren allied themselves with the Orcs during the invasion of the Burning Legion. The two races have remained steadfast allies ever since. Like the Orcs, the Tauren struggle to retain their sense of tradition and noble identity."

Those of you who played through Warcraft III might remember, the Taurens were being assaulted by the Centaurs, and the orcs came to their aid and befriended them. Here, another peaceful, tribal society, dedicated to serving nature . . . called "evil" by people who've bought into the Alliance Propaganda.

Undead
Ahh yes, the Undead, the Forsaken. They're surely evil, through and through, right? Well, let's look at that . . . They were risen from the dead, interrupting their peaceful slumber, and enslaved to the will of the Lich King (and later some of them to Arthas - note that name, I'll come to him in a bit). After some of them finally threw off the shackles of control exerted upon them by Arthas and the Lich King, they fight to retain their own free will (rather than being used like things as so many have in the past) and simply to destroy their enemies - chief among them, the Lich King. Their closest roots are to Humans - who call them monsters and abominations, and try to kill them on sight, rather than welcoming their undead brethren back into the fold and trying to get along peacefully. They have to combat the Scourge, undead still under the sway of the Lich King's Will, for the betterment of the entire world, and are assaulted on all sides and plagued by hatred from their own descendents and family.

Some of the notable figures in undead history - Kel'Thuzad . . . a HUMAN Necromancer, who enslaved undead and rose them from their final sleep, swore allegiance first to the Lich King, then to Arthas in his quest for power (whatever's convenient, right?), and even staged his own death so he could arise as an Arch-Lich, to wield even more power.

Arthas - a HUMAN . . . not just a human, but a Prince, the King's son, and a Paladin, who betrayed humanity, slaughtered his father, slaughtered a respected and mighty Dwarf who had called him friend in his quest for power, enslaved even more Undead to his will, betray humanity and spread Undeath. Human, Check. Major Betrayal, Check. We see a pattern here? Yet, everyone blamed the Forsaken for all of this. Yeah, all their fault. They WANTED to be used and enslaved to others' wills. Now, since everyone pretty much seems to hate them, they just want to be left alone, to pursue their war against the Lich King and his evident evil.

Now, on to the Alliance races . . .

Humans
Basically, they've got the attitude of "We're still here, we've been through two invasions, and we've made alliances of convenience to survive, so we deserve everything we want just for surviving." Look back at the storylines and missions in Warcraft III. They met the Night Elves, pissed off the Night Elves, then when they HAD to, made friends with the Night Elves (not that pissing off the Night Elves is all that hard, to be truthful). They claim to be the bastions of good and light, but have a laundry list of betrayals from the human race. Not being enslaved by demons or powerful magics . . . they turned against their own kind because they wanted to, or because it was convenient, or merely a step along the road in a blinding lust for power.

Dwarves
Dwarves have pretty much kept to themselves, except for their alliance with Humans. Why do they ally with the Humans? Because they like to fight, plain and simple. Dwarves like to drink and fight, and the Humans are always stirring things up. They've changed recently, as they've learned that they may have been created by the Titans, and are delving into their past to try to learn more. Obsessed now with archaeology and anthropology, they basically just want to find out who they are and what they came from. They're like rednecks who've become obsessed with geneology.

Gnomes
Blizzard says it themselves: "it's a wonder that any Gnomes have survived to proliferate." Left to themselves, the Gnomes would have done the world a favor and killed themselves off by now. The gnomes would have you believe that "an ancient, barbaric menace had risen from the bowels of the earth and invaded Gnomeregan," but anyone with a lick of intelligence knows better. Whatever invaded Gnomeregan, the Gnomes stirred up in their incessant messing with things they don't have common sense enough to leave alone. Their own city lost to them, polluted and irradiated, they've had to shelter with the Dwarves, who aid the Gnomes in continuing their existence.

Night Elves
Oh, the Night Elves. Pretty defenders of Nature and goodness, right? Nahh. They're worse than the Gnomes. "The Night Elves' reckless use of magic drew the Burning Legion into the world and led to a catastrophic war between the two titanic races. " Here's the real root of it all. Burning Legion? Night Elves' fault. Orcs torn from Draenor, shoved through a portal and made to fight against their will by the Burning Legion? Oh, woops, wouldn't have happened if the Night Elves hadn't stirred them up. Even now that they've come back out into the world (Oh, crap, better wake up, the demons are back!) and been forced to ally themselves with other races, they still have an innate arrogance, and are "are very distrusting of the 'lesser races' of the world."

So what do we have there? The "Evil" Horde has two formerly peaceful tribal and shamanistic cultures who've shown honor and nobility, who are helping advance the Trolls into a better culture. The Orcs overthrew demonic bloodlust and control, rebelling against their former masters to drive them off and save a world that they didn't even come from. Despite not really trusting the Forsaken, they've allied with them because they clearly see a real threat of evil from the Lich King. They've found their treaties with the humans, big surprise here, being broken and they're being warred on again. Of course, dare they defend themselves, oh, they're EEEEEEvil.

Then on the other side, we've got the Humans, the masters of betrayal, who are arrogant and colonial, trying to eradicate the Horde in the name of "good" - never mind that they'd made peace with them to fight a common enemy when they had to, but now that inconvenient peace thing is thrown right out the window. Gnomes who would probably be doing the world a big favor if they'd invent a time machine, go back in time, and kill themselves off before they pissed off whatever it is from deep in the earth with their radiation and pollution. Night Elves, who started the entire mess with mucking around with high magics, drawing the Burning Legion into the world, and almost certainly developing the magics that the Lich King eventually harnessed to enslave the Undead. The Dwarves . . . well, they're all right, really."
Actually, I begin to see why so many people want to play Alliance now. They WANT to be the bad guys.

Happy Birthday to me.

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 07:15:41 GMT

So, it's (technically) my Birthday now today (being after midnight).

My Momma sent me some Birthday money yesterday. Going to go get my Indiana Driver's license later today, sort of a necessity as my Texas one (which I really should have done something about, oh, 2 years ago) expires/expired today.

Also going to try to find some Chinese food or other suitable oriental somewhere here to eat. Mongolian Barbecue would also be awesome, but I don't know/think there's any good one around here.

My Mom said "maybe someone there will bake you a cake." Unlikely, but it'd be nice . . .

So, I went to a job interview today with BradfordScott Data Corporation. Hardware Manager position. Really interesting job, tech stuff, precisely what I'd love to be doing. I really, really would love to get this job. I'm worried though that I won't even get a call back for a second interview.

Got another interview with a temp/staffing firm Thursday morning. Maybe that'll do something. I'll look tomorrow or Thursday for some more such places to pester.

31. Ugh. I'm out of shape and old. :(

* le sigh*

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 05:48:58 GMT

So, tonight, my PC spontaneously rebooted. Then it began rebooting again and again, and finally I was able to catch the blue screen it flashed up long enough to see what the error message was - Page Fault in Non-Paged Area.

Ugh. Ok, could be page file corruption (it wasn't), could be hard drive problems (it wasn't), could be device driver issues (don't think it is), or it could be a RAM problem (almost certainly is).

So, I'm sitting here looking at a 256 MB DDR DIMM here from Crucial that seems to be bad (removed it, after trying various slot combinations with it and the other two sticks of RAM, and everything works perfectly again). I'm going to look into what it would take to get something from them under warranty . . . but otherwise . . . anyone happen to have a 256, 512, or 1 Gig stick of PC2100 or better DDR RAM sitting around?

GenCon & True Dungeon, here I come

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 06:03:35 GMT

I drive off to Indianapolis tomorrow (well, technically later today - I plan to leave around noon) for GenCon, where I'm a Head GM for True Dungeon. As a full-time volunteer, they're paying for my GenCon badge, putting me up in the Marriott there for free, and there are other perks. It will be a lot of fun, but I will of course also work my ass off. I'm likely to be sore and my feet will hurt all week, and probably a good bit of the week after.

So, that's where I'm at through Sunday.

Things aren't quite so grim today as they were last night.

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 20:58:17 GMT

So, my stress levels have been rising lately. A LOT. I still don't have rent money for Steve. This is obviously a major concern. Nearly as much of a concern to me (and to be entirely honest, sometimes more of a concern, as backasswards as that is) is the approaching dates the first week of August when my WoW and CoH game subscriptions end.

Well, a small but, for me right now, significant chunk of money just basically landed in my lap today, though I won't have it for up to 2 weeks. I called my Mom today, after 2 months of not hearing anything from her and being worried that she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore or something like that, and found out that her computer has been dead for a while, so she's not been able to check e-mail (and thus hasn't gotten any of the ones I've sent her over the last 2 months), and she never got my phone message from a couple of weeks ago. She's going to try to help me out with a little bit of money later this week as well.

I've had (and am still working on it) a genuinely productive day with e-mailing and calling places for job-hunting today. On slate for tomorrow is getting out and hitting up a few places reasonably close (gas is a big concern right now, I've got just under a 1/4 tank and until I get some money, that limits my range significantly). I'm really, really going to try to make that happen. I HAVE to.

I'm beginning to think that I'll just somehow be able to make all this work and happen. Keep my game accounts up, so I don't go absolutely insane from boredom, make -any- kind of an income start happening again short-term, and be able to have money to get to Indianapolis and eat for GenCon and True Dungeon. I was beginning to worry that I wouldn't be able to make GenCon, which was really a worry because I'm one of their head GMs, I've got a lot of responsibility for it, they've already invested money in me, etc.

It begins to seem like, just maybe, things will work out ok.

rowena_zane posted this one, so I had to try it . . .

Wed, 13 Jul 2005 18:40:30 GMT

You are Captain Malcolm Reynolds, aka. Mal or
Captain Tightpants. You saw most of your men
die in a war you lost and now you seek solitude
with a small crew that you are fiercely devoted
to. You have no problems being naked.

Which Firefly character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

So, Friday, night approaching . . .

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 15:40:51 GMT

Anyone have thoughts or plans for doing something in a group social-like setting here in Fort Wayne, inclusive of those from other near-Fort Wayne areas (like, oh, say, Pierceton)?

I'd like to do something, be it RP, movie rental & viewing, movie watching in a theater, something. But the absolute core essence of this post is my wanting to know if something's happening or not, so I can make/adjust my personal plans accordingly.

I miss them already. Especially Xev.

Tue, 24 May 2005 22:14:17 GMT

So, M&N got back from Japan last night, on a series of way too lengthy flights on a day that, as they were coming back across the international date line, ended up being like 30 hours or so for them. Today, they're already off to their big nice new house in South Bend - with the cats, Kai and Xev. They want to freak the cats out in smaller doses, and spread it out over time, rather than having one big huge freakout this weekend. That's understandable, and smart.

I've had a lot of time with those two the last near 2 weeks. Rather than buffering me up on kitteny goodness so seeing them go away wouldn't be so painful . . . it's more really just gotten me more attached to them - well, really mostly Xev. Kai is ok, and cute enough and all, but I really love Xev. She's such an intelligent cat with so much personality and cunning, and is just cute as a button to boot. I already miss them, and knowing that I'm going to see them only on very rare occasions months apart now hurts.

I've been unable to really let loose and have an oh-so-manly cry for years. I almost broke down at my Mammaw's funeral . . . and felt like crap that I wasn't streaming with waterworks when everyone else around me was. I felt like I should, like I wasn't mourning her adequately or something (and believe me, her loss hit me hard, it still affects me), but the tears just didn't come.

I almost cried last night. Not quite - they just didn't come out - but I was close, when I hugged Xev and scratched and caressed her furry little body and touched noses and heard her subtle, low-key purr, thinking about their going away essentially forever. I wonder if they're going to miss me. I know I was pretty much Xev's "chosen human" and I wonder how she'll cope.

Some part of me wants to snap and say I should have resisted and not actually encouraged M&N to get cats - I could have cited my allergies as being a concern, as that was what they were most worried about - so that I wouldn't have gotten attached so badly to these two little monsters. But when that thought surfaces, it's quickly quashed. I can't imagine having not met Xev and Kai, and not have had them around the last few months. They've enriched my life, and helped me stave off the depression somewhat, and amused me, and annoyed me, and torn my computer chair near to shreds . . . but I couldn't seriously wish they hadn't been a part of my life.

On other notes, I've gotten my living arrangements taken care of at least short term, so I'm not in absolute dire straits, and that's lifted some of the stress off of me. There's still plenty, believe me, and I'm still fighting the daily battle to force myself to be productive and work on trying to solve that other major issue, employment, but not being worried about being homeless suddenly and cut off from nearly everything that keeps me sane (yes, I should even have internet access with my new abode) is something of a stress reduction.

Fort Wayne Folks (& Josh): Friday Night - RP, Movie(s), nothing?

Fri, 13 May 2005 09:25:27 GMT

M&Ni are in Japan. They said we're free to use the house tonight (Friday) for RP or whatever if we want to (just help me clean up after, please? I have to keep the place in Show condition).

Do we want to have RP tonight without M&N? Or do something else - rent some movies, or perhaps get together and go see a movie?

I want my . . . I want my uhm, TV.

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 23:11:21 GMT

Ever since Suprnova died, I've been missing some of the TV shows I like to watch. I don't have a DVR (and can't afford one right now, otherwise that would be my first option), and the VCR has developed problems lately that make watching recorded shows difficult at best and painful if not pointless at worst.

I used to simply download the new episodes of shows I try to keep up with a day or two after they'd aired in digital form via a Torrent tracker site (Suprnova generally being the best/most convenient of these). I could then watch the new episodes of the shows at a time when it was convenient to me (rather than, as is typical, in the middle of MMO gaming primetime), then delete them when I'm done. I just want to keep up on my Sci-Fi Friday shows, Smallville, and one or two other things (ok, some JLU and one or two other cartoons).

TV Torrents is essentially dead, Suprnova is gone, and I've spent some time looking, but I just can't find a good torrent tracker site for recent TV releases. Anyone have any suggestions or links?

Today just sucks.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 20:46:13 GMT

Precursor:
Yesterday's Cat-astrophe, where thanks to Kai's "help" M&N's 160GB hard drive that was going to go into the server if it proved working was most probably destroyed.

Today's Pain:
Monday, when I went to the library to return Ghost in the Shell: Innocence, I saw the Staffmark across the parking lot in the shopping center there, and stopped in. Monday wasn't a good day for them for Walk-ins. Explained my need for a job, and my pesky possibly problematic background issues. They didn't know if they could do anything to help me, and would have to check with so-and-so who wasn't in right then, but they'd call me back and let me know.

It's Wednesday now, and they haven't called me back. So, I called them. No, they're terribly sorry, but they can't do anything for me right now. Bonding and insurance issues. Maybe after April.

Ok, so with the yellow pages (both dead tree and Yahoo variety) I called up some more employment/staffing agencies. "I really need a job, these are the sort of things I've done before and have solid experience with, these are the other sorts of things I'm open to and feel confident I could do, and I'm willing to be flexible on schedule and pay rate. Here's this nasty issue that might of concern to prospective employers. Is that going to be a problem?"

After a total of 7 (6 more after Staffmark) calls that all ended up with pretty much the same negative results, I gave up. For today anyway. There are a bunch more places to call, but I can only stand my soul being crushed so much at a time. A few resumes sent out anyway (not that I expect anything to come of that).

I'm scared and depressed, and I'm cognizant of it. I can feel the weight of the world pressing down on me, I see it outside, there waiting for me. I'm afraid of it, of trying to deal with it and tackle things that I know I need to. But it's hard. I was trying to be active and productive today, with the pressure of time mounting more and more, but I'm worrying that I'll find it hard to try to force/motivate myself to do the things I really need to do.

Shorn:
I've been contemplating trying the "beard thing" again lately. I've tried to grow and maintain a beard a few times before in the past, but it always ended up being aborted before too long. I either hated the way it was looking, or it itched too badly. I'm not sure what it is, but I had a few days' growth last week, and it wasn't itching enough to drive me mad, so I left it be. I'd look at myself in the mirror, and kinda/sorta/maybe like it, and was at least willing to give it a bit more of a chance. I'm not sure why, but I didn't hate the way it looked - I can only figure that I was looking at myself differently than before. So, I haven't shaved in almost two weeks. Until today.

After getting off the phone disgusted, i shaved. Not just the new beard growth, but my Van Dyke goatee and mustache as well. Completely bare, smooth face. Now I'm regretting it. I'm not sure if I like how it looks. No, actually, I'm sure I hate the way it looks. But then maybe that's just the way I feel right now.

Man, does it feel weird.

Every time i look in the mirror, it doesn't look like ME there.

I dunno, maybe someone else will like it.

Future Dread:
Sitting down going through my e-mails for the last week's worth of HotJobs, Careerbuilder, and Monster job notices, seeing if there's anything else I might be able to convince myself I sorta qualify enough for to maybe have a chance and be worth applying to, with Xev on my lap, purring (and shedding) as I caress her and lavish affection upon her, I actually nearly cry. Thoughts of the near future invade. Realization that M&N are going to be going away, and whatever happens to me, damn but I'll miss that little scheming cute kitten, who I've grown entirely too attached to. Far moreso than Kai.

I think Kai is sick He made some coughing/hacking dry-heave type sounds earlier, but didn't throw anything up (maybe because we're out of cat food, and their food dish has been empty since last night), and he's been sneezing a lot. Including a little fit of a couple of minutes where he sneezed repeatly, every 10 seconds or so. Not cute little cat sneezes that make you reflect just how much they can be like people at times and how much we try to anthropomorphize our pets, but heart-string rending pathetic little sneezes.

Keyboard Catharsis:
So I cracked open Semagic to write my first entry in quite a while. I had to do something with all of this tangled mass of suck seething within me, and it's probably a lot easier for me to sit down and type it out, even with concerns about who all is going to be able to read it and what they'll think of it, than it would be for me to, you know, talk about it to a real living person face to face.

Aural Fixation:
Sitting down to try to type things out in Semagic, I tried a bunch of different music. I started with Enya, and it proved to be entirely too passive and peaceful. Teen Cthulhu? Meaningless noise. Ooh, They Might Be Giants? My mood hated me. I've settled on some GnR cranked up loud enough to almost feel.

Friday night - RP?

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 23:05:42 GMT

We having RP this week, or not?

Holiday report

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 07:10:29 GMT

So, this holiday season wasn't, over all, all that bad. This isn't ever really an easy time of the year for me - the Holiday Season depresses a lot of people, either for bad things that have happened to them in the past at this time of year, or feeling seperated and lonely from their friends and family, or just for the seasonal blahs from the winter weather - sun obscured, coldness, tending to be cooped up inside more often (though that's not all that much of a change for me).

I definitely felt the depression and the apathy a few times, and had some nights where I was outright anhedonistic, and just doing some of the things that should be fun for me just sort of going through the motions (or in a couple of cases, trying to do even that and just giving up on it). But having other people (ayradyss & lakos mostly) around, and their kittens, which I fear I've become all too attached to (particularly Xev) has helped a lot.

I came back from GenCon SoCal sick, and ended up getting sicker, very posisbly picking up Strep from watcher_shadow. After being miserable for a bit and finally getting in to see a Nurse Practitioner and getting a 10 day dosage of Doxycycline, that seems to be licked . . . though this morning I woke up with a lot of drainage, and I've got an itching on my throat that I'm very much hoping won't turn into a sore throat and into some other full-blown illness. It seems like the last couple of years, the I just don't fare well physically in the Winter season.

People around here have been more than tolerant of me, and have made at least token gestures to include me, which is touching, and helps make me feel a bit better and not so down, with all of my family in another state a quarter of the nation away, and at least 1 or 2 friends there who try to keep up on me and care about me. There were two Christmas trees with gifts with my name on them underneath, which is two more than I expected. It makes me feel a little guilty, as I'm able to do so little to give anything back to those giving to me and trying to make me feel welcomed, rather than merely tolerated.

There's one particular gift I want to get for ayradyss & lakos, but I haven't been able to find the precise thing yet (haven't looked as much as I perhaps should have) in a price range that I can feel comfortable with. Part of me wonders if I'm being too damn cheap and should get the "OK" one I found that was about $10 more than I'm trying to find it for, or if I should continue looking for the right one at the right price.

Anyway, enough ponderances aside. Since I've actually got a little bit of a loot list this year, here it is, behind the cut:

From ayradyss & lakos I got a $20 gift card for Wal-Mart (I used it to buy medicine and necessary things, and used some of my cash in proxy, and got myself a nice black chenille sweater as my gift from them. It's soft and comfy and gives me something thickish and long-sleeved and warm, to serve as winter clothing as I lack almost any other such). Also a DVD, the Starburst Edition Volume 1 of Farscape, which has the first 7 episodes of the first season on it, and lots of nifty extras. Dammit, now I'm going to have to collect the rest of them. ;) They also gave me a bunch of chocolates - the best of which, which went all too rapidly, a Mega Tube of M&M's Minis.

From Tom & Ruth-ann, I got 2 passes to the Rave. Two free movies, essentially. Wonderful gift for me, as I love seeing movies.

My Mom sent me a MoneyGram, with the idea that I get myself something I'll enjoy with it. I'm probably going to hold on to most of it, and dole it out in small bits for movie-sized doses of fun and for various necessities and expenses . . . but it is extremely tempting to me to go and spend $35 to pick up the DVD collector's edition of City of Heroes to upgrade my account with.

Oh, this thing is still on? Woops . . .

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 23:17:21 GMT

First, because it's so fun: Villain Quiz! (got it from the City of Heroes/Villains boards)

Uhm, what's been going on lately? I went to Southern California (Anaheim) for 8 days, for GenCon SoCal. I've already made 3 different summary posts on various forums. If you're interested, go read this thread at HP.

I have realized the trick (for me) to more frequent LJ updates

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 03:52:55 GMT

Simply have a job with computer and web access, with a lot of boring downtime. ;)